Mother Teresa’s Orphanage

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I belong to the women’s organization within the church called the Relief Society.  Regardless of where I live in the world, getting to serve with other women in this organization is wonderful.  Every couple of months, the local organization of this Relief Society holds an activity that is centered on strengthening faith, the family, or the community.  This past Saturday, I was able to go with these wonderful women to visit Mother Teresa’s Orphanage here in New Delhi.

Mother Teresa was born in Albania but lived most of her life in India, and became a citizen of this nation.  She came to India in 1929 and started teaching school near her convent.  Two years later she took her vows to become a nun.  In Calcutta she began a mission to serve the “poorest of the poor” where she started tending to the needs of the starving and the destitute.  It began with a very small group of 13 people serving the needs of those in Calcutta.  Today it is an international charity with over 500 missions in more than 100 nations.

Outside the orphanage with the women of our Relief Society and one of the “sisters” serving in this mission.

Two of the women in our group had been involved at this mission before and gave us a few instructions.  Number one is that they do not like pictures to be taken so unfortunately I have few to share.  Second, they explained that these children often do not get much touch so just touching their arm or holding their hand is something we could offer.  We brought juice boxes, a small cupcake for the children, some new small stuffed animals and smiles to share.

After removing our shoes and being greeted by one of the “sisters”, we were taken upstairs to meet the residents of this mission.  In the babies room there were 20 small metal cribs lined up in rows right next to each other.  Everything was very clean and orderly.  Two babies laid in their cribs, carrying fevers and not feeling well.    Sitting in the long hallway were chairs similar to high chairs, but closer to the ground, where many children were sitting and we could greet them.  We blew bubbles with them and they loved the feel of it and “popping” them.  One of these children had a really hard time saying good bye to one of my relief society friends as she didn’t want the hug she was giving her to ever end.

One of the girls that loved blowing bubbles with me.

In another room we sat at some tables doing some small activities.  I sat with three completely blind girls at a table.  One loved grabbing my hands and just moving them to clap them.  When the music was playing, they loved to listen to it and move their hands and heads to the beat.  The best surprise for me of the day, though, was seeing three of the individuals that I see regularly at a non-profit group for young adults with disabilities. It really stirred something within me to see these women there and know a little more about their backgrounds as I see them each Tuesday.

We asked a worker there how these individuals end up at the orphanage.  She explained that some are just dropped at the door, others are brought in because they are found alone and homeless on the streets and it is here where their basic needs are fulfilled.  I was so impressed with the staff and the “sisters” of the mission.  Upon leaving we got to peek into the section where the “sisters” go to pray and worship.  It was a great day in India and one where you have to say, Wow!  How incredible to go and actually be in one of Mother Teresa’s orphanages and to see the good that her life here on earth is still providing to so many with far too little.

Road Work

Driving to our home, one gets off a main street going through Delhi and then drives down several different neighborhood streets before arriving at our building which is at the end of a cul-de-sac next to a park.  Since moving here last October, this is the second time we have experienced the joy of road work being done in our neighborhood.  Evidently the first attempt at fixing some water pipes in the neighborhood were not successful so we are getting to experience it all over again.  Watching road work being done on local roads fascinates me, frustrates me but most of all humbles me as I watch the workers complete their work.

   Pictures of our street and the trench. 

Here are some FASCINATING facts:

• Manual labor is so cheap here that instead of bringing in a big machine, like a bulldozer, to dig a trench, it is all completed by hand.
• The equipment that is used is so “out of date” in my view.  They use baskets for hauling material — where are the wheelbarrows?  If there was a Home Depot or Lowe’s here, I don’t think they would know what to do with the items that are found in there.  India very much loves the ‘tried and tested’ equipment they have used for ages.

One of the men digging the trench.

Here are some FRUSTRATING facts:

• No notice is given.  All the sudden you will turn the corner and see that your road has trenches dug up preventing you from getting to your home.  We had our guards and drivers keep a close eye on things so we knew when we needed to have the cars pulled out so that we could leave in the morning.  And by the way, there is NO WHERE to park your car within the neighborhood when your street is torn up.  One of our neighbors was so upset about the entire thing that he spent a great amount of time inquiring as to who was responsible (which was not easy at all) and let them know that he needed some updates as he had a pregnant wife and didn’t want to be stuck when it was time to get to the hospital.  This neighbor in fact did not have a pregnant wife, but his deception got someone in charge to show up at our building and speak to the man which in turn helped all of us understand the timeframe.
• Material needed for the project is just dumped wherever there is a spot.  Very large piles of rocks and dirt are just dumped, without notice, wherever they can locate a spot, even if it blocks the road.  This second time around, we got it dumped at the end of our street, making the travel much slower, as the road is a very tight squeeze for even one car.
• The finished product — well let’s just say in my view, the way it is left would be hard for me to say that it is “finished.”  The first time the trench was dug and pipes worked on, EVERYTHING, including the asphalt that was dug up, was just piled back into the trench making it anything but flat to drive over.  The second time around, it looks like they have done a better job of trying to flatten it but it is still far from smooth.  I would love to see hot asphalt show up one day and make the road smooth again.

A woman who just unloaded her basket of rocks that is carried on top of her head.

Regardless of how frustrating or fascinating it may be to have this road work done, I am HUMBLED by watching it.  Let me explain:

• This work is not just done by some hired workers or day laborers, it consists of entire families.  Not only is it men, but it includes women, and children.  I have witnessed women sitting in the dirt nursing their babies as they took a quick break from the work.  I have seen children laying on the side of the road taking their naps in the afternoon.  I have told my husband that if I ever again complain of a bad day, he is to remind me of these families.  Theirs is a very stark reminder that things could be much harder.
• As these families get different work within this massive city, their home lands wherever their work is and let’s just say it’s not the nearest hotel.  These groups of families find a spot, it has been on a sidewalk across from the entrance to the Anand Niketan development, where they have pitched tarps and sheets to create makeshift tents, calling it home.  Mothers are literally lighting small charcoal fires on the ground of the sidewalk to cook a little dinner.  No running water to clean up after the day, no soft bed to lay on, no electricty to see when it gets dark.  Children are seen entertaining themselves with absolutely nothing in the evening after the days work.

I tried to be very discreet taking a lot of these pictures so they are not as great as I would like, but notice above the children — one just wandering around and another laying on the ground having a nap.

A family cooking their dinner on the ground.

Road work is these families’ lives.  I am a changed person from having watched it.  So I find myself becoming more forgiving as we wait to get past the piles of rocks dumped in our neighborhood or as we drive over the bumps from the trenches, and wonder at the smiles that come willingly on these children’s faces that have been given a very different life from mine.

 

 

 

 

Two Little Monkeys….

Two little monkeys jumping on a bed — you know the song — one falls off and breaks his head.  Well, instead of it being monkeys jumping on a bed, it’s two little monkeys riding on a motorcycle.  Although monkeys can be a common sight in India, this picture captured by Tyler driving home from work last week, was a first to see them riding on a motorcycle.

Although the novelty of seeing a monkey swinging from a tree, walking along the sidewalk, or crawling down from a building still has not worn off for me, my understanding of monkeys here has definitely made me more hesitant to get near them.  The large capital city of India has an abundance of monkeys and they are not afraid of people or making sure they obtain what they want from humans.

In the neighborhood where we live, it is only on occasion that we will see one, but in some other areas, not far from where we live, they are a definite problem.  Such a problem, that sometimes the human feels like they are “caged in” their home due to the presence of the monkeys found outside.  Enlisting a man that owns larger monkeys, called langur monkeys, to urinate on buildings, houses, and the land around it can help a bit.  The small, abundant rhesus macaque monkeys will not cross the territory of a larger monkey, like the langur, so if they smell the urine of that monkey, it discourages them from stepping on the grounds of that property.  According to a New York Times article in 2012, one langur handler has 65 of these monkeys urinating on prominent homes and buildings throughout Delhi.  After the smell of the urine wears off, usually a few weeks, he repeats the routine, charging about $200 a month for the service.  The American Embassy School keeps an eye on “monkey invasions” and do their part in keeping the monkeys off the school grounds by using such techniques, according to Hailey.

Why the problem in such an urban city?  Where there is food, they will come, and Indians don’t shy away from leaving some food for the monkey.  This may stem from their Hindu religion where one of the gods is in the form of a monkey, or it may just be that like the stray dogs everywhere and the wandering cows, Indians don’t mind feeding the monkeys as well.

The worry about feeding the monkey, though, is that the mouth just might bite the hand that feeds it.  Monkey bites are common enough that each of us got the rabies vaccinations upon our arrival here.  With each of our children going to the various weeklong school trips throughout India each year, the school recommended it.  The rabies vaccination consists of 3 different shots that have to be given in a certain order.  If we then get bitten by a monkey, it does not prevent us from getting more shots, but at least fewer of them.  How common is it?  Well, common enough that we met our first victim during our first month living here sitting in the doctor’s office.

A toddler aged girl, from Israel,  was waiting in the doctor’s office to get her last rabies shot from her monkey bite.  The girl’s mother said that her daughter just happened to be walking along the sidewalk and got in between a mother monkey and her baby monkey.  The toddler appeared to be a threat to that mother’s baby so she ended up getting a nice bite from the mother.  Fortunately, she has physically recovered from it, but the mother is not sure she will ever like seeing a monkey again.  The monkeys where Hailey took her school trip last year were not timid at all and jumped down into their open jeep at one point.

It is said that a monkey can smell the food in the wrapper and if it decides to take that backpack, purse or camera strap, it is best just to hand it over.  As for me, I prefer singing the “monkeys on the bed” song or witness them happily riding on the motorcycle of their owner instead of landing on my head.

Namaste Year Two

Six weeks after arriving in the United States for our summer vacation, I was able to drive to LAX to finally welcome my husband, Tyler, back to the United States.  As we drove away from the airport he pointed out that it is truly like a magic carpet ride.  You leave one very different world to arrive in a completely different world.  Well the Bryson family is grateful for the 20+ hour “carpet ride” that could join our two worlds together.

The Grand Tetons above and Jackson Hole, below.

Summer fun consisted of a trip to Yellowstone, Jackson Hole, visiting family in Utah, and spending an entire month back in San Clemente, California, with plenty of beach time.  Thank you to every person that spent time with us, let us eat their food, sleep in their beds, and made our summer one to remember.  We lost a “teddy bear” on the journey (Hailey’s since a baby — Yes, tears were shed), earned a driver’s license (Hooray Conner!!) and gained a new hobby (tennis for Thomas).  Karen took every opportunity to go into any shopping establishment — Target, Costco, grocery stores — you name it and I was happy to run a shopping errand for anyone.  The first time we entered a large store to shop, one of my children’s eyes got REALLY big and said, “Look at all this stuff.”.  And none of us got tired of the fresh air and beautiful weather.

Conner at T-street in San Clemente

Thomas took daily tennis lessons in July returning with a new hobby.

Hailey at Riviera Beach in San Clemente

As we prepared to board our plane in London to return to Delhi, our children noticed a family that was on our plane that had two daughters that looked very excited.  They said, they must be a new family moving to Delhi “because they just look way too excited.”. Well, sure enough they were and so Hailey got to meet her first new classmate while getting off the plane in Delhi.  Boy, did that moment take us back a year ago to what we felt when we walked off the plane.  After having several friends here in India tell me that their children’s lowest point of living in India was the beginning of their second year, I was interested to see how we would do — would we be happy to be saying “Namaste” to India, or would we be crying about the “goodbye” to America.  Well, I am happy to report, that the landing in New Delhi was much, much smoother for year two and we cheerfully said “Namaste” to India.

Along with our stuffed luggage of “American goods”, we returned with some much needed body weight from enjoying some good food in America — Funnel cakes at Knotts Berry Farm included.

After living out of suitcases and sleeping in many different places as we spent much needed time with family and friends, one of our children announced during the last week of vacation that they were “looking forward to going back to India.”. There is something about having your own bed call your name — regardless of its residence — after a little while.  We would not have changed a thing about our wonderful summer and every day went too quickly, but this time flying to Delhi we came with some experience, some knowledge, a better understanding of our place of residence and an established home.  As I continue to think about how it was last year at this time, versus today, wow am I grateful for every little bit of progress we have made.

So as the suntans from time at the beach fade, we are happy to welcome year 2 on this journey in a world that is a long, long magic carpet ride from home.

We’ve Grown In More Than Just Height This Year

The school year has ended and the bags are packed to head back to the US for the next two months of summer vacation.  (Okay, so Tyler is getting left behind until he can join us mid-July.)  As we look back over the past year, WOW! Is the best word to describe it.  AMAZING on so many different levels would be another.  HARD, really hard, would summarize the year as well.  One thing is for sure, Conner, Thomas and Hailey have grown in height, Tyler and Karen in wrinkles, but ALL of us have grown extensively in ways that are not visible to the eye and a little hard to capture on paper, but we will try.

Growth in understanding the World:  Conner says it best, “People need to get out and see the world.”. Conner’s World History class experience here was unlike any he would have had in the States.  He sat in a room with people from all over the world, expressing their opinions and viewpoints.  He learned that not everyone likes America.  Each of our children has become friends with people from all over the world and as a result, their understanding of the world has changed.  Hailey has also realized that everyone should know their own nationality.  I have had conversations with parents in finding out where they are from, where they have lived and those parents have admitted, it was time for their children to spend some time living in their native country so they know about the traditions and customs there.  Hailey also stated that every child should start learning a second language very early in life — she has one fifth grade peer who is currently learning their 4th language.

Growth in understanding India:  Prior posts on this blog share some of what we have learned about India.  It is truly an amazing country.  I am not sure we could have landed in a spot more different from where we came so we have a lot to learn.  Thomas states that India has the “best priced chips.”. (If you buy their local brands they are super cheap–if you want an imported brand, like Doritos, plan on paying $10 a bag.). Conner would acknowledge that the government is corrupt and many extensions of that government, like the law enforcement, lack good ethics.  Hailey would add that for many, being a child in India is very different.  Social services would be called in immediately in the US if they witnessed the lack of parental guidance, and the environments that many children here call normal.  Thomas says he is definitely more humble from all the poverty he has seen.

Growth in how we view our own Country — the United States:  Living outside your country helps you to learn a lot about things you didn’t even realize in your own land.  For example, “not all toilets are the same”, “the internet is most important thing in your life,” “even the homeless in America have it better than most people in India.”. These are just a few comments from our children on things they have discovered about their own country through simple, day-to-day living experiences.

Growth in us as an individual —  Tyler surmised early on in this journey, that we would not be changing anything in India — rather it would be changing us.  How true this statement is and at this point, it is a little hard to fully understand exactly how each individual is changing from the experience.  Patience is one attribute that is being tested for sure — the ruling is still out if it has made us less patient or more at this point.  Deep inside each of us, though, the things we have witnessed and experienced are helping us to become something better.  I believe gratitude is one of the attributes that is growing most within us — gratitude for very simple things that are very often overlooked.

INCREDIBLE is how Tyler and I would explain how our children have handled this experience.  We could not ask for better children.  We are so very pleased with the way each of them has persevered, overcome many changes, and grown in ways that have yet to be revealed.

 

 

 

To be Tan or White? That Depends on Your Culture

In the summer as a teenager, my sisters and I would “lay out” in our backyard trying to get a tan of some sort.  I am sure we caused all sorts of sun damage to our skin because sunscreen was not what people used back then — we actually would put products on that would help make the tan happen faster.  Many Americans are so obsessed with having that “tan” look that they visit tanning booths and get spray tans.  As many Americans try to get some type of a “tan” this summer, I wanted to share a little about the obsession in India for many (not all) to NOT get any darker, rather to lighten the skin as much as possible.

For centuries, some people of India have believed that the “lighter” the skin color, the more beautiful the person .  I do not know where this stems from, maybe from the British rule, or the perception of their God’s being light-skinned, but it is startling to me how much money and effort is placed in making skin lighter.  I believe that it is the individual, not their outward appearance that makes one beautiful, but walking through a mall here, driving past billboard advertisements, or even watching commercials on television, one sees that some in the  Indian culture are very obsessed with “whitening” their skin.

My first visit to a modern mall here, I noticed the large signage in the windows of the cosmetic stores advertising skin whitening treatments, creams and lotions.  It surprised me quite a bit, thinking how many people could really be worried about such a thing?  Well, there are MANY people that think about it, and the very rich and middle class with spending money are not shy about using products to get some results.

When doing a little research on the topic, I came across an article from 2012 that claimed that there were 240 unique skin-lightening products launched in India and that the industry is booming.  These products contain agents to decrease pigment production but once stopped the skin returns to its natural skin color a few weeks later.  That same year a research firm claimed more skin lightening creams were sold in India than Coca-Cola.  That is a little bit hard for me to believe to be quite honest because the majority of people can not afford these creams.  But for some there is a distorted view on the body based on skin color here.

Yes, they even advertise making your underarms whiter.

I have heard from numerous individuals, that if the daughter is lighter skinned, than there is a chance of a better dowry for marriage.  I have seen a family that has two sons, the younger one being darker skinned than the older and he is teased a lot about how he is too dark.  The Bollywood actors and actresses all have much lighter skin than the average Indian so their role model to the people of India definitely influences their self-perception just as ours can be influenced from celebrities and media.  While watching American Idol here last Saturday, we saw a commercial that advertised a product for “how to remove your tan.”. I do not want to come across as judgmental here in any way.  As I mentioned at the beginning on this post, many are just as obsessed elsewhere with acquiring a tan.  It seems to be human nature to some extent to try to conform to a standard of beauty.   So as you lay by the pool or head to the beach to get some sun, quit worrying if your body is the whitest one around — that’s worth a lot of money in other parts of the world!

 

 

The “Process” in India

When an expat arrives here in India, working for an embassy, or even some companies that have many expats working in this country, there are many things that are already established for them.  We were not in such a position.  No one handed us a checklist explaining step by step how to do certain vital things in this new country.  So we have gotten plenty of hands on learning about the unwritten “process” of doing things in India.  To give you a taste of this experience, I have chosen just a few:

These power lines in India are just like the “process” of many things here in India — a tangled mess!

1.  Proof of Residency — All processes, before beginning anything, require a proof of residency first.  This is a very large stack of papers that are provided by the landlord.  It must have the employee’s full name on it, and the name of the company you work for.  In order for the proof of residency to be received, the employer has to provide proof to the landlord.  When we arrived here, we did not land in a permanent spot, so it was a bit more tedious to try to make this happen.

2.  The FRRO (Foreigners Regional Registration Office)– As a non-diplomat, an expat is required to register in the country of India within 7 days of arriving here.  This requires taking the entire family out of work and school for part of the day to sit in a large room waiting for your number to be called.  If you move residences, you must redo the FRRO process, and annually it must be redone as well when a new visa is obtained.  If you are moving into a brand new building, the building must first have all of its government paperwork finished before you can file for your paperwork.  Thus, the reason, that we ran into a hitch when we moved into our permanent flat because we had to wait months before the government had finished their paperwork on the building before we could redo our paperwork with our new address.  These papers need to be carried as you enter and exit the country.  They are required to establish anything, like internet connection, in the country.

3.  Obtaining a mobile phone.  The phone is vital for every family member here in India.  It is not a luxury, rather a lifeline to reach the driver to be picked up because many of the driver’s areas where they wait are nowhere near where you have been dropped off.  The process here to obtain a phone is much different.  There are no plans you sign up for, rather you buy a phone and then pick your provider.  (We love that part.)  In India, though, they are very particular about the “Process” to obtain a sim card for the phone.  After standing in a very long line to purchase the sim card and show all the required paperwork, the phone company then sends a person out to your place of residence to take a picture of you at that location to prove that you really reside there.

4.  Buying a car.  Our wonderful driver, Ashok, gets most of the credit for helping us accomplish this “process”.  First of all, when you go to look at cars, they will tell you that it is coming from some other place and will be there shortly.  That some other place could be hours away in reality.  Well, after three full Saturdays of Tyler waiting to have the cars show up to look at them, we finally made a decision on one.  That was just the beginning.  To register a car as a new owner, it took our driver 20 trips to make it happen.  Paperwork after paperwork needed to be completed.  And at one point, when tensions between our two countries were not super great, they were ready to close the book on even finishing our registration.

5.  Banking.  In order to get a banking account, one must have a PAN card, something similar to a social security card.  Well, of course, there are numerous hoops to jump through on getting that card, but Tyler got his and then we could finally apply for mine (that is part of the order here).  Until I received my card, he was the only one with a bank card to access our account here, and let me just include that he wasn’t doing a lot of the grocery shopping so it was a bit amusing to make sure I always had enough cash on me.  Once I finally received my PAN card, we could go into the bank together and sign stacks of papers bringing proof of our marriage, our US social security cards, passports, passport pictures, etc.  You get the picture.  Well, the banking process does not end there.  They are extremely particular here about how you sign a check.  So, Tyler has had so many checks rejected based on his signature that the bank told him he needs to take half a day to come to the bank and see what his signature is supposed to look like on the checks.

Yes, the processes here are humorous to the point that one wants to cry at times.  I understand a country needs to follow certain security measures to remain safe, but it would just be so helpful if someone would give us a list and let us know this is the step-by-step process to make things happen.

Ironing Piling Up? Just walk it to the corner.

It is really easy to get behind on the ironing, but here in India, there are many easy ways to get that ironing taken care of without touching an iron yourself — with my favorite being the corner “ironing” stand.  I drive by this ironing stand, which is at the end of my street, every single time I leave my house, and it still fascinates me.

It is usually the sametwo women that are there most days of the week doing ironing for whomever in the neighborhood brings it over.  Their work day will vary depending on the amount of business brought out from all the buildings in this neighborhood.  I see shirts hanging after they are finished, and sheets stacked and nicely folded after they are freshly pressed.  It is very inexpensive to get an article of clothing ironed there.  According to my driver it probably costs something equivalent to 20 or 30 US cents to get one piece ironed.  Now, those are his prices, I am sure that this little stand in our neighborhood may charge a little more due to the clientele.

This woman has a smile on her face every time I drive by, even if it is 110 degrees outside and she is getting warmer by doing this kind of work.  It is so tempting to want to drop a few articles of clothing off to her, which at some point I probably will, but my maid loves to do my ironing here and stays right on top of it so I am afraid she wouldn’t be too happy if I took it down to the corner business.  I have also wondered how things stay clean when they are ironed in that environment, as it is out in the open, cars driving very closely nearby with dirt being kicked up every time they go down the road.  The fascinating thing more than the stand, though, is the iron.  There is no electricity involved in this business.  You will not find an electrical outlet anywhere nearby.  Instead, they load this iron with hot coals and it keeps the iron very warm as the ironing is being done.

The local ironing stand is also a good shady spot to stop and have a good chat.  This woman, on the day I stopped to ask if I could take a picture, had plenty of company to help the work day move faster by conversation.

Another little fact that I should add here when it comes to having those shirts ironed, is about dry cleaners here.  There are dry cleaners at every market but my experience is that there are very few that produce a product that you would be accustomed to.  For example, the chemicals used in the dry cleaners here leave a much stronger odor in the shirts and I think they also wear the clothes out faster.  The very high end hotels don’t use those same chemicals and I have found one other nearby dry cleaner that seems to be closer to the quality I would have in the US.  It ends up costing me as much as if I had the shirt dry cleaned in the US, but at least it doesn’t have that harsh chemical smell for Tyler to sniff all day as he wears it.

So, if you are looking at that pile of ironing and wondering when you will ever get to it, know that India has the solution — most maids take care of it, and if not, then the local ironing stand is always open!

 

 

India’s Obsession — Cricket

Driving around New Delhi, one sees cricket matches being played throughout the day in many dirt fields and parks.  It is truly the sport that everyone in India is obsessed with playing.  Their greatest rivalry is Pakistan and when India plays Pakistan, everyone is glued to a TV set watching the match.  Cricket matches are constantly being played and replayed on TVs that are in restaurants.  It is truly the game that is followed by almost everyone.

It is believed that cricket was first introduced in England in the 1300s.  As the British Empire had an influence throughout the world, cricket was introduced to many of the countries it ruled.  As a result, cricket arrived in India by British royalty in the mid 1800s.

This past Saturday night, we finally attended our first Indian Première League (IPL) Cricket Match between the Delhi Daredevils and the Rajasthan Royals.  Tyler booked us some tickets on line by a company similar to a StubHub in the United States.  He had to pick up the tickets on Saturday between 11am and 6pm.  The adventure in locating the place of business was something to write about on its own, but we can save that for another time.  Tyler invited one of our drivers, Ashok, and his seven year old son Akshay to join us.  The driver’s son was so excited that he was telling all of his friends at school and they couldn’t believe that he got to go to an IPL cricket match.  He was a delight to have join us.

Conner sitting next to our driver’s son, Akshay.

On walking to the stadium, of course, there are scores of people trying to sell you their sodas, shirts, flags, etc.  One funny moment going in was a vendor shouting out 20 rupees and as soon as we approached him his product was now 50 rupees for us.  Upon entering the stadium, only in India, would you find massive amounts of hired help to do some of the basic things.  There were four turnstiles at the spot we entered.  At each turnstile there was one employee to take your ticket, another to scan it, another to turn the turnstile for you and another to direct you.  Conner stated, “only in India, could labor be this cheap to justify it.”.

Not knowing what to expect we arrived there a bit earlier than we needed to.  The extra time before the game, though, ensured that after many requests and Tyler’s persistence, that a ladder was finally removed that blocked some of our seats.  Before they finally moved the ladder I had mentioned that there were so many electrical wires wrapped around it I was afraid they might shut off some power for the event if they did try to move it.  We finally got an unobstructed view from the second tier of the stadium, though and they were pretty decent reserved seats.  Now a reserved seat on your ticket doesn’t mean someone won’t already be sitting in your seat and they will insist that it is their seat until you pull the ticket out, maybe get an employee to assist and be just as insistent that this is your seat.  Once you get up and go somewhere during the half time break, one should not be surprised to find that your seats again are already taken.

The ladder someone thought would be okay to just leave there.

Terms like wickets, bowlers, batsmen, overs, sixes, fours, boundaries, were all new to me in the game but with the help of my boys and husband, I was able to learn the simple rules of the game.  It was much better as the game progressed because I understood it better.  It reminded me of when Hailey was little and attending lots of American football games that her brothers played in.  One day, she sat down and watched a football game with her dad on TV and he explained the rules.  She told Tyler, “Dad, this game is a lot more interesting when I understand it.”  There were even cheerleaders at the event, about nine for each team.  They were set up around the stadium in groups of three doing dances and cheers.  Now for the die-hard cricket fan, the “real games” can go on for days.  Just recently they have started establishing some games and rules where the game is only 3+ hours so the normal person with a life can actually watch an entire game.  If you are wondering if cricket would be a sport to watch?  Well, if you do not like baseball or think that sport is boring, than cricket is definitely not for you.  It is not baseball for sure but the closest thing I can compare it to.

The stands full of fans!

With mosquitos thick in the air already this year, we also got to experience the “pesticide service” spraying at the game.  About 10 minutes before the game started, without warning, a man came out and just started spraying chemicals along the edge of the field where it met the stands.  Again at the halfway break, the same chemicals were sprayed.  I have no idea how they can figure that is healthy for any of us sitting there or for the players that were standing out on the field.  But without warning, they just let the foggy mist do its job.  Definitely part of the India experience.

The mosquito fumigation.

So our Delhi Daredevils lost the game by just a few points but it was a fun experience and something we will probably repeat.  We learned a few things to change for the next time (like make sure you never need to use the restroom while you are there), but it was so very fun to learn and experience cricket — the game everyone in India follows and enjoys!

The Begging Dilemma

One of the most difficult things for us to see and be around in New Delhi is the poverty that is everywhere.  It is very hard to escape it and is something that really pulls at one’s heart.  I have asked myself almost every day, “what if that were me?”. When Tyler and I visited last May before committing to the job here, we were instructed very strongly that although it would be difficult, the way to help the beggars is not to hand them money.  That may seem callous, however when you understand how these children are really being used, you certainly do not want to continue their exploitation.  On the other hand, when your 11 year old daughter says, “But I don’t want to have a hard heart,” one really has to question how are we going to handle the poverty here and what is best for our family to do.  I want to share a little about what we have discovered so far and how we have decided to deal with the constant, daily, begging that is around us.

It is children, even at a very young age, carrying other children, that are walking through the lanes of cars on the street and tapping on windows begging for money.

Before moving here as a family, we tried to explain to our children that when we would be stopped at intersections and traffic lights, women holding babies and small children would approach our car and knock on the windows wanting money.  As much as we tried to prepare our family for this part, it didn’t take very long for them realize that this was a reality that they were going to face day after day and it has been hard for them to experience.  Let me explain the different types of begging one can encounter here.

• At the market:  When going to a market to grab your groceries, or stop at the bank, the fact that we are “white” makes us immediate targets for the little children walking around begging.  Sometimes it will be 2 or 3 young children together approaching you, sometimes it will be a teenager leading an older blind woman around holding a cup asking for you to contribute something to help her, or sometimes it is just the man with one leg or one arm sitting on the corner looking for someone to give him a few rupees.

This is at a market.

• On the street:  At nearly every street corner where there can be a long line of cars found when the traffic light is stopping traffic, one will be lucky NOT to be approached by someone.  When an individual approaches your car they will just come right up to your window very close and start tapping on the window, or worse, scratching along the car, asking for money.  If it is a woman holding a baby she will always use some type of hand language showing that she needs to feed her baby.  (I would like to add here that most of the women carrying the babies are “renting” the babies for the day, they do not belong to them.)  If they knock on your side of the car and there is no response, sometimes they move around to the other side and work the other window.  There are also those individuals that are trying to sell bouquets of flowers and books or magazines as you are waiting for the traffic to take off.

Notice the small girl standing next to the auto begging for money.  They move from car to car being very persistent.

This is another little girl begging at a car in front of ours.

• Tourist areas:  Any area that has many tourists visit, is a spot where beggars will be found.  At some religious sites that are visited by many tourists seeking to visit a famous temple or mosque, beggars will line the streets.

This is at a shrine of a Sufi saint that people from all over the world come to visit.

A few things we have discovered from our experience living here and other’s wisdom include:

• Begging is illegal.  Although it is against the law to beg on the street corners, it is not enforced by the policemen and often the policemen will tolerate it as long as they get a piece of the profit.
• It is a business.  There are individuals and groups that run these groups of children that are begging.  Some of these children fall into this life through their parents selling them off, some are introduced to it because they have run away and are searching for a better life, some are enticed by promises that are given to them such as food, and others are just kidnapped and forced into the life.  When I did the slum walk, we talked with our guide about those living in the slum versus those living on the street.  He told us of one gentlemen that he got to know through conversation on the street and found out that he runs the group of children begging on a certain intersection and that is what funds his own two children that are attending universities in America.
• Children receive almost nothing.  The little money that the children do bring in from their begging is handed over to the persons in charge.  They are fed by these people and might get a little extra $1 for themselves in they are lucky.  They are watched closely to make sure that they do not spend any of the money.  They are often beaten if they are found guilty.  These children on the street are getting zero education in their life because they are kept from school to go and beg for someone else.
• From personal experience, if you purchase flowers from one person on the road, or give one woman a few rupees to buy the flour she says she needs, once that money has been handed out, there will be many more beggars suddenly appearing wanting their share.  The harassment does not end by helping just one person, it is the beginning.

The children take breaks in the dirt at the intersections.  Some even sleep right there with their little food being cooked right over a small fire made right in the dirt.

So knowing all of this and seeing it daily, how does one deal with it?  Seeing the poverty and how these children in particular are living, is definitely difficult to know how to handle it and not let “your heart get hard.”.  As a family we have decided that the best thing to do is to hand out some type of “child” treat to the children so that they will be able to enjoy it themselves.  One day when Tyler was walking through a market, the children were following him around and asked him for even a “Kinder Joy” that he could buy at the market for them.  It is a chocolate egg with a small toy inside it.  So, when he came out of the market and gave them to the children, they were so happy.  So, Kinder joys have become something we like to leave the house with or have a few in the car to hand out.  Small packages of crackers are another thing that my driver will keep in the car and occasionally hand out.  We can only hand it out if we have enough for the group of children begging, and it is best to hand it out when leaving the place because if not, you will be approached by fellow comrades of the beggar that received the Kinder egg.  Not all recipients are pleased with the “food” donation.  We have had some go away with a very large frown, pleading for money.  My driver will say, it’s not food they want, just money.”. I believe that is a result of them needing to show up with their proceeds for the day for the man in charge.

We have also chosen as a family to increase donations that we make to our church for humanitarian purposes as well as several non profit organizations here in India.  We have particularly focused on those that are using their resources wisely in furthering the education of children.  For a child out begging, they have absolutely no other future ahead of them.  But, if that same child is given the opportunity to obtain an education, the opportunities for the future are many as India develops.

Everyone that comes to live here from around the world has to make their own decision on the best way to care for the poor and to respond to begging.  I am sure that our own perspectives will evolve over the years we live here, but for now we feel we have found an approach that is right for us.